Relationship Advice From Your Single Best friend

I’m sick of all my pretty, smart friends asking me for advice about their ugly, dumb boyfriends. So, I decided list all my great advice. You’re welcome!

1.) Before considering him anything more than a friend check if he has these four things: hygiene, earning potential, sex, and trust. Yes, I stole that from a Gossip Girl episode and you wouldn’t believe how many boys don’t have those four simple things.

2.) If you’re under 18, don’t stress yourself out. If you’re not from the south you most likely won’t end up married to the guys you meet. Some of you treat it like it’s a lifetime and that’s simply unrealistic.

3.) Please don’t fight and make out all at once in front of my face. Not really advice but still. Stop.

4.) If he makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to be nice to him. This is for my extremely nice girls, you don’t owe anyone anything. You don’t have to tolerate someone who clearly doesn’t value your comfort and piece of mind.

5.) If he doesn’t like Britney Spears, that should be a major turn off.

6.) If you spend more time fighting than actually getting along, dump him. You’re not married (I’m assuming) and no relationship is worth that amount of stress. It isn’t healthy for either parties.

7.) If his friends are assholes that’s a major red flag. if he publicly tolerates or supports his shitty friends in front of you, imagine how he is when you’re not around.

8.) Being jealous over every girl that walks five feet near your boyfriend isn’t cute. If he wants to cheat, he will. Being outwardly insecure in your relationship is weird. I don’t know why this has become a huge trend. Trust me, nobody wants your boyfriend.

9.) You shouldn’t stay in a relationship just because it’s comfortable. The world is ending in ten years due to global warming, don’t waste that time playing safe.

10.) This very simple, if you’re not on the same page — fix it. Either get a new book or get rid of the book all together.

That’s all for now folks. Hopefully you enjoy Girl In Couture’s new section.

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Writer. Obviously.

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